The real me is lost somewhere

"Who?", asks my inner self.
I answer, "The real me."

Its a thought, a thought that most of us stumble upon while getting into terms with Life and its nuisances. I feel the real me is lost somewhere along the way I was traveling upon.

The real me is lost, or is it? I seemed to have forgotten the old ways of being happy with small things, the smiles that rain drops brought, the paper planes and the colorful marbles. I seemed to have locked those memoirs in a closet of mine, whose key I may have misplaced somewhere down the time lane. It does get back to me, distant blurred visions, of the better times, but then the key is missing.

The losses keep coming back and forth, don't they? but at the end, it's about what have you gained in mean time you were dealing with those losses. I lost on a few important key points, but I was never just a loser, I gained too. But after 24 years I realized that somewhere in this race to gain more and lose less, I am becoming someone who is not me, not even close to who the real me was, it was then that this truth hit me.

I then, opened the long awaited discussion. I then, asked myself the big question. Who am I, a reminiscence of my own past, a mirror image of the man I wanted to be, or something utterly different? The answer was mixed. One me, Two replies. Two replies that make me think, that tumble up my world, that looks so settled in these new quasi-environments that are all around me.

I am on a path to find the real me all over again. The path which originates from me and culminates into me, the untrodden path. But as my idol Dr.A.P.J.Abdul Kalam has to say, "Who, if not the youth, to walk on the paths untrodden, and lead the way for others to follow", I am on my way, rather making my way amidst all these fears and insecurities.

Someday the light at the other end will shine brightly, someday the past will be forsaken and the future will be cherished. That day isn't far. It's just around the corner.